Saturday , June 25 2022

Man confessed to raping his ex, wanted to get her pregnant so he had no choice but to marry her


SINGAPORE: A 26-year-old man threatened his ex-girlfriend of 10 years with a knife and questioned her sexual history with her new boyfriend before raping her.

She later said that she did it on purpose to get her pregnant so that she would have no choice but to marry him.

The man, whose name has not been released to protect the victim’s identity, pleaded guilty to a rape charge on Thursday (October 14th). A second rape case, as well as five other charges, including aggravated sexual assault and criminal intimidation, will be considered for sentencing.

The court heard that the man met the victim when he was in middle school. They started dating when she was 16 and she was 14.

He got her pregnant twice – once when she was 14 and at 23. In both cases she went for an abortion.


On February 11, 2019, the 24-year-old victim broke up with the man who learned that he had cheated on her again.

He continued to ask the victim to reconcile with him, but the victim blocked him on WhatsApp and avoided him. She started communicating with him through her best friend and would call her at work or at home.

Two weeks after they broke up, he called the victim and said he wanted to settle down with her. He also asked her to meet him to discuss their marriage. He got angry when she rejected him.

On February 25, 2019, the defendant sent the victim a photo of his father’s parachute.

He meant to look for the victim, so to speak, but his family stopped him and calmed him down. He then bought a bread knife from a shop. He planned to threaten the victim with her so that he would tell her the truth about whether she had sex with other men.

The next day, he sent a favor to the victim and said that he wanted to meet her “very badly”.

“Meeting you for 10-15 minutes is enough to satisfy my longing. I’m really sorry about yesterday because I can’t accept that you’ve found my place,” he said.

The victim returned home at around 12:40 the next day and found the accused waiting for him. He took her on his motorcycle and suggested they go to a hotel to talk.

The victim agreed to do this as long as he promised not to get angry. While on the motorcycle, the victim used his phone and the accused tried to take it away from him.

They then got off and struggled over the phone, threatening to punch him in the face if the man didn’t give him the password. He hit his forearm and punched his motorcycle helmet, causing the visor to come off.

He then saw a ring on the victim’s ring finger and burst into tears. The victim felt sorry for him and later agreed to go to his apartment to talk about their future.


The couple arrived at the apartment at around 1 am that day. His parents were sleeping and they went to his bedroom. The victim saw the bread knife on his bed and thought it was the parang in the photo he sent him.

The man stripped down to his boxers before asking the victim if she had had sex with another man. When she said no, she took the knife and put it to her neck, causing her to fear that she would kill him.

She started crying as the man questioned who she was having sex with. He repeatedly refused to answer until he told him not to test his patience.

She said she had sex with her new boyfriend, and the defendants peppered her with more questions like how many times and where they did it.

Around 1:35 a.m. the man slid the tip of the knife into the victim’s thigh several times and said he wanted to have sex with her.

The victim cried and refused, but said “I don’t care”. He forced the victim to perform a sex act on himself before saying it was “now his turn” for having sex with other men.

He asked her in what position she had sex with the other man and raped her in that position. He then raped her a second time and then said that he wanted her to become pregnant so that she had no choice but to marry him.

When the man later refused to give the victim’s password, he smashed the phone screen with his knife. He finally took home a Grab car. While in the car, she called her boyfriend and told him what had happened before calling the police.

The man was arrested that same morning after he sent messages to the victim’s best friend saying he was sorry and wanted to surrender to the police.

The victim could not get pregnant as a result of rape.

Assistant Prosecutor Sarah Siaw demanded 13 years in prison and 12 cane blows for the defendants, saying the use of knives was aggravating.

He also pointed to deliberate ejaculation, saying that the victim’s intention to carry her child was “equivalent to deliberately inflicting special trauma.”

“Rape the victim is bad enough, but making the victim bear the fruit of the rape in her womb… is unspeakable,” he said.


Defense attorney Kyle Sim instead sought six years in prison and six stick blows. She discussed at length how the victim forgave her ex-boyfriend.

He said the victim had posted about himself 26 times on Instagram stories in the 17 months after the crimes. Three weeks after the event, one such post said: “No matter what happens, no matter how long it takes, I’m always here for you.”

Mr. Sim pointed to another post on January 5, 2020, where the victim wrote “I still love you” in reference to the accused.

Judicial Commissioner Philip Jeyaretnam said such social media posts did not show that he had truly forgiven him or had been harmed to some degree.

“It’s a process where the victim has to deal with the trauma,” he said.

She asked the lawyer how this matched up with the victim impact statement, where she said she broke up with her new boyfriend in part because of the trauma of rape. He also wrote that he has a phobia of being attacked and that the incident affected his sexual life.

On his phobia of being attacked, the lawyer said, “I think we are all afraid of being attacked to some degree,” and claimed that “attack was not involved” in the commission of the crime.

The judge replied that he was not entirely sure that this was entirely true.

“What you’re doing right now is, respectfully, trying to explain the victim’s feelings as expressed in the effect statement… and I have two difficulties with that – first, I’m not sure how the trauma works, I’m not sure the trauma is limited to rational reactions to past events, but the second part is, you say you forgave him, but then here he expresses these fears – does that match with crossing him, this must be a direction forgiveness?” asked the judge.

As for the particular trauma suffered by the man who said he wanted to impregnate the victim while raping the victim, the defense lawyer said both parties “had unprotected intercourse from the start”.

“With all due respect to the victim, you will note that two previous abortions have been performed. Given that this is the usual way for the parties to have sexual intercourse, the defense argues that this was not deliberately caused by any particular trauma,” said Mr. Sim. .

Prosecutor Ms. Siaw said the act of ejaculating on the victim “takes on a completely different look in the context of rape.”

There is no romantic relationship context, and the defendant was instead subordinating the victim to his sexual demands.

Ms. Siaw makes no mention of sexual assault in her Instagram posts, and the tone is one of nostalgia, which is just natural given the length of their relationship.

“This shows that the victim cares deeply about the accused, and we think it makes this betrayal even more painful,” he said.

The judge postponed the sentence to a later date, saying he needed more time.

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